Friday, January 30, 2009

Red Colored Toothpaste

Friday, January 30, 2009

...IS LIKE THE STUPIDEST THING EVER INVENTED.

So I walked into the bathroom this morning all groggy and sleepy eyed as I fumbled around for my toothbrush and discovered that my mom had bought a new tube of toothpaste and upon squeezing realized that it's red in color.




Of course I was immediately taken over by bouts of childish wonderment and glee at how cute and
sparkly it is before finally sticking it into my mouth to brush my teeth. And so there I was, back to my initial groggy state after that short moment of interest as I mechanically move my toothbrush around my teeth all the while wishing I could go back to sleep as my eyelids droop lower and lower every second with thoughts of gay red sparkly toothpaste now furthest from my mind....


Till I spit my toothpaste out and as I was reaching for the cup of water to rinse my mouth, I happened to look down into the sink and was faced with this image:


AND I SWEAR MY HEART TOTALLY STOPPED RIGHT THERE AND THEN BEFORE I STARTED SCREAMING MY HEAD OFF TOTALLY AWAKE NOW AND STARING AT IT IN FROZEN HORROR COMPLETELY FORGETTING ABOUT THE WHOLE NEW TOOTHPASTE BEING RED THING AND HYPERVENTILATING INSTEAD ABOUT HOW I COULD LOSE SO MUCH BLOOD. BLEEDING GUMS? BUT IT'S LIKE A WHOLE SEA OF RED IT LOOKS MORE LIKE OMG LEUKEMIA?!?!?!?! OMG NO NO NO I'M TOO YOUNG FOR THIS SHIT I DON'T WANT TO BE LIKE THAT GIRL IN BIG BANG'S 'HARU HARU' MV ONLY I DON'T EVEN HAVE A G-DRAGON TO CRY FOR ME (funny how stupid irrelevant thoughts always appear in your flash of panic really) THIS IS SO NOT HAPPENING PLEASE NOOOO till I caught sight of the damned tube of toothpaste out of the corner of my eye and remembered.....


@$@%$!!@@&!!*^#!*@#!@#(*@#^!@*(&^#!!!!!!!!!11


SCREW THE IDIOT WHO THOUGHT HE WAS BEING AWESOMELY CREATIVE WHEN HE DECIDED THAT RED WOULD MAKE A GOOD COLOR FOR TOOTHPASTES.


"Why have boring ol' white when you can have colors? Why not make pretty colors like idk RED which is a fierce color rawr~! and make brushing your teeth an exciting experience totally different from the past?"


Well you got the EXCITING EXPERIENCE part alright only it wasn't what you had in mind didn't you? I could have died from the shock you dolt omg and I am grateful for all those long hours put in at the gym lately or I swear my heart would have failed. Just think if it was a less fortunate person with a weak heart like the elderly OMG STUPID TOOTHPASTE IS A HEALTH HAZARD AND SHOULD BE BANNED REALLY. SOMEONE SHOULD SO START A PETITION FOR THIS.


Save the world! Save the innocent elderly!

2 comments:

hillabilly said...

Wow, sounds like funXD

Where you get that toothpaste?

Abi~♥ said...

ewwwwwwwwwwwww reli looks like blood T_______T