Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Overexposure

Wednesday, November 12, 2008
So I still retained my gym membership after all cuz companion or no, I must lose the weight ok. And really I've been wanting to rant about the gyms here cuz honestly, enough is enough.

Who needs Playboy here really, just go to the gym.

So back to my first day where there I was, innocent happy little 18 year old me, who after signing up immediately flitted off happily to the changing room to change only to be assaulted by an eyeful of naked old women with saggy boobs wth.

WTH IS THIS OK DID I ENTER THE WRONG ROOM OR WHAT and so I backtracked to double check the sign on the door but it still said 'changing room' in big bold letters and not 'nudist lounge' so I wasn't mistaken after all. I was still in a total dazed confusion and looked around for the actual rows of changing rooms as found in clubs like KGS in Kuching till SoEun went all 'just where are you going?' while I mumble something about 'finding the darn changing rooms' and she just went 'but THIS is the changing room'.

Oh.

Say what?!?!? This huge area is not some waiting lounge but the changing room? And just to prove their point, everyone just ignored my incoherent sputters and started stripping while I made a hurried beeline for the handicap toilet (cuz its huge) to change wth I die die refuse to change in front of everyone ok.


I miss Malaysia's conservativeness =C

Then just the other day, after carefully averting my eyes from every breathing creature in the room, I zipped across the room right into the steam bath only to be confronted with this fat woman sitting cross legged like a naked Buddha in front of me with rolls and rolls of fat overlapping each other like slabs of salami. GAAAAAH!!!! Is this even allowed?! Shouldn't there be a rule about swimsuits or towels at the very least ok this is not Japan omg a few more years here and soon I'll probably be all 'YAY ONSEN' *splash* instead of 'wth I am so NOT going in there naked you hear me?!!!' before proceeding to make a bathrobe out of tiny square towels.

Then there is the shower cubicle. Thank heavens LA Fitness decided to install shower curtains which was the main reason I chose this gym cuz the rest were curtainless wth. But my joy was soon cut short when I stepped inside, pulled the curtains shut only to discover that it'll still leave a 5 inch gap on either side despite my frantic thugs at it as I wrench it from left to right and vice-versa, desperately trying to fully enclose myself in it.

How the stupid shower cubicle looks:


Yes the curtain edges are totally jagged ok like some wild beast just tore a huge tent apart and LA Fitness picked up the pieces and made them into curtains. And the stupid transparent strip is too damn low for my height ok I swear it covers nothing on top at all. In the earlier days, I hook my towel and bag on both sides of the wall to cover the stupid 5 inch gap but nowadays I don't even bother because the I have a sneaky feeling the gaps gets wider each week as my towel is no longer sufficient to cover it and so I give up. After much reluctance.

I still change in the handicap toilet though. And although I'm getting used to the sight and presence of people just blatantly changing in front of each other, I still wish America wouldn't be so bloody open. I can live without the unsightly sights of sags, fats and wrinkles ok. And also the jealousy from seeing well-toned bodies thus making me feel utterly miserable and have this insane urge to drown myself in the jacuzzi nearby.

But I swear I could give myself a couple more years before I become like one of them due to prolonged exposure wth. Or if someone report me for hogging the handicap toilet (whichever comes first) which might be a crime here I have no idea maybe I should bring retractable crutches next time just in case?

Crap ok, I can so totally feel that America is like clawing her way through my layers of conservativeness and this is just one of the examples and I am quite freaked out because I do not want to become some gullible 'open' minded ahem 5 years down the road ok?!

Plus seeing since CA likes to support gays and lesbians a lot later the changing room got lesbians then HOW?! It would be like changing in front of guys le cuz of her sexual preference and so she would be like in lesbian paradise with naked girls all around her as she silently check them out omg....

That's it.

I am sticking to my handicap toilet forever. Will look out for some retractable crutches next week.

4 comments:

denise--joey said...

ppl with crutches don't go to gym right...?

Ammy said...

you know, you should totally invest in those hook things with the suction cups. then whenever you want to take a bath just smack the hooks on either side of the wall and hang a towel on both ends to make a little curtain for yourself, then when you're done taking your bath you can take the hooks off and put it in your locker.

hana said...

@denise: Then why do they have handicapped toilet??? I've been wondering about that too for a long long time.

@ammy: Very nice idea. I think I might do just that. Although I'm getting LAZIER nowadays and just strip and stuff if there is no one there =P

Ammy said...

such a waste of a perfectly good idea. ish la you