Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Change

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Was browsing around online shopping sites the past few days and came across this cute pair of boots:



I think its cute and I dare you to disagree with me hmph. Anyway, the best thing was how someone even offered to buy it for me but when I showed it to my family they were all 'it won't suit you' and when I asked why, this is what I roughly got:

"You are the conservative introvert type ok. You'll only end up spoiling the image of the boots in question. You're not the wild type who barges their way through everything etc. If you want to wear these sort of styles, you've got to open up more etc."


"........."


You know what? Screw conservatism. I am sick of being this supposedly kuai girl who doesn't wear this and that, of being quiet and never going against the flow of things, of thinking up a million possible outcomes and risks instead of doing things on impulse, who doesn't protest her way through anything as long as it isn't deemed unfair and stick to the balance of things in life.


Srsly what is the point of having model height and not being ever to wear all the chio stuff found in catalogs and stuff simply because I am of 'not a certain type'?! *irritated*


I shall now kiss my stupid conservative image goodbye. Shall start speaking up more in class, barge my way through the halls like I own it, talk to random people (haih, must I really?), return hugs and not shun them and dye my hair blond and wear thick dark green eyeshadow with heavy eyeliner/mascara topped off with 3 inch lashes.


Ok I kid about the last part. Cuz I still think my classmate looks like a peacock with it. Really, maybe I should tell her that one day since I am her groupmate and all but later she ask her ah lian friends beat me up then how?


Neh, like this. Except she is Taiwanese. She is still blond though.

But she is nice at any rate. And really stylish. And also pretty. Almost like a Taiwanese Koda Kumi. Just sadly a little overdoing it with the peacock makeup and everytime she blinks or flutters her eyelashes, I cannot help but imagine 2 peacocks fanning their tails proudly and wonder how she can open them at all under all that weight....


I hope she'll never discover my blog.


But I am serious about the first half you know. Though I have no idea how cuz I really dislike talking to people I don't know well, much less hug them back. And I prefer to just quietly sit back in class listening to people talk and snicker inwardly when they make ridiculous comments and thank the heavens its not me and just quietly ace all my classes whilst my classmates still mis-assume me as stupid cause I don't talk.


And I should really stop thinking something is wrong with me and feel all self-conscious when I walk down the hallways and everyone turns to look at me and just be proud of my height instead of stupidly wishing I was shorter which I don't wish so if you were to ask me when people aren't looking at me. I should also learn how to start conversations instead of thinking up various things I can possibly say and their possible replies in my head like a schizophrenic only to have the person going off as soon as I finally decided on a topic. SIGH.


I wish there is a 'extrovert pill' I could take or something instead of painfully torturing myself towards change =C


Maybe I should dye my hair blond this week and that somehow miraculously together with the bold color would come courage *muses*


Oh who am I kidding.....

4 comments:

Ammy said...

omg someone offered to buy you those chio boots? SHE/HE SOUNDS LIKE AN AWESOME PERSON!! you should totally be more kind and nice and offer to buy more stuff for him/her.

only you can't because of those fuckers in malaysia's post office. poor him/her.

hana said...

LOL. dun blame me. blame the crappy service.

sharon (^.^) said...

the boots is so so cutee!!

hana said...

I KNOW!!!! And to be told I don't suit it. Omg T______T