Tuesday, July 15, 2008


Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Frustration. The world was a huge fast-moving kaleidoscopic blur as she stumbles her way through, desperately seeking out something tangible, something she can hold onto to stop herself from being swept away into nothingness. Occasionally missing a step every now and then, causing precious chances to slip mockingly through her fingers.

Desperation. 'Life is based on successes. Only the successful survives, the rest just fade slowly into the shadows of oblivion'. Weary and tired, she continues to push herself to keep up with the blur that is of the world, refusing to submit to the shadows that are calling out to her, its voice gaining clarity by the minute. Desperately she grasps on to college, exams, papers, social clubs, work – anything and everything that could push her up to the brink of success; that can help her break through the blur and reach for the stars in the sky.

Hopelessness. Once again she reaches out. Misses. And is sent plunging back into the bleak despair of reality. Eyes shut tight, hot tears streaming down her cheeks, she bit back her lips to refrain from crying out; refusing to give the world the satisfaction of knowing that it just might have gotten the better of her.

A mixture of indescribable emotions swirls furiously within her as she wanders listlessly down the road in the dark, hopelessly wishing for a miracle to fix all the wrongs in her life. Suddenly, glaring headlights appears at a corner accompanied by screeching tires, signaling the fast approach of a vehicle.

Her mind numbed with pain, she could only stare blankly at the approaching lights through her blurry tear-stained vision.

“Ne, is life really worth fighting for? You strive and toil with all your might to keep up with the world only to lose it in a single moment of failure. Maybe not everyone can succeed in life and some would just be forever left to chase dreams, never reaching it even until their dying days. Maybe it’s better to just let go….” she whispers softly to herself as she lets her mind slip slowly into the welcomed darkness while her body starts to move unconsciously towards the center of the road.

She closes her eyes, waiting for the impact that would release her from the endless whirl of the world, for the split moment where time would come to a standstill before she made her transcendence from one dimension to another.

Minutes passes. Yet she still felt strangely alive. Slowly, she opened her eyes in confusion only to have her vision filled with a pair of concerned brown orbs gazing intently back at her. Blinking widely, she swept a glance over her surroundings and found herself to be sprawled on the pavement with a disheveled-looking guy beside her - who was currently mouthing something to her which she fail to register in her present state of mind. Looking pass him she saw the previous car at a standstill, the driver’s face white and hands glued to the steering wheel in shock at the series of events, headlights still glaring harshly in the dark as the engine continue to purr softly, breaking the silence of the night.

“Wh-what happened? W-why...what...how?" she finally manages to choke out, words tumbling out in confusion one upon another.

"Thank goodness I got you out of the way just in time..." breathes the guy heavily beside her.

"But why?! What's the point in living if you keep failing to reach your goals, keep failing to attain the successes of society? Life is just so meaningless...." she screams out before lowering her eyelids in frustration.

“Hmm….I think life is more than just material successes ne. Instead, life is a succession of moments. To live each one is already to succeed.” the guy beside her replies softly.

At the impact of his statement, her eyelids flutters open with a snap as she turns to look at him, his previous words slowly sinking into her brain and making sense by the moment. And there he was, standing and smiling at her wordlessly as he extended his hand out towards her, inviting her to get up. As seconds pass, tentatively she reached out her hand to grasp his. And in that fraction of a moment, the world shifts as the whirling comes to a lazy stop and everything comes into a hazy, haloed focus.

Maybe she has already succeeded long ago and all she needs now is to just realize it from a different perspective, she thought as the corner of her lips starts to curl into a smile while she slowly gathers up her pace and moves back on to life's track once again.


Yes, today has got to be one of the most depressing of days for me. My two stupid polsc short papers got an 88 which translates into a horrible B so I am forced to do 10 more papers for extra credits to jack those up to A. And I have 2 horribly long term papers due this Thurs. And my Socio exam today wasn't as hot as last time. And I just felt extremely gloomy at life atm so I felt like writing something. Initially I wanted a dark ending where she dies dies dies alkdaldjada cause I AM DEPRESSED but my positive side got the better of me. It's my first time writing anything for that matter too so *waves hands airily*

Shall resume writing my polsc papers now *gloom*


Leira said...

Did you write the story yourself?

inspireme said...

Very nice written story:) I enjoy reading it:) Anyway, cheer up:)

hana said...

@leira: Yes lah ok.

@inspireme: Thanks ^^ And I'm feeling all happy now since then =)