Friday, September 28, 2007

The Frumps

Friday, September 28, 2007

Cannot. Stand. Frumpily. Dressed. People.

My sister and I were talking about people like this just now. Everywhere at school we plagued with them. Ok, so I might not be the best dressed person at school seeing how I destroyed my hair thanks to the unfortunate visit to some unskilled hairdresser a few months back. Nevertheless I’m going back to my old hairdresser after exams to re-perm my entire hair and lavish it with tons of treatments.. Am stuck with tying my hair into an auntie-bun everyday as I simply cannot manage it. It just won’t curl rightly darn it.

But where was I? Oh, yes. Frumpily/sloppily dressed people. Frumps does not necessarily mean that they are ugly. It just means that they have no fashion sense whatsoever due to their laziness to make any effort. Like sloppy dressing and horrid hair.

I cannot understand why anyone would want to make themselves ugly. It just makes me mad. Can’t you just care a little more about yourself?! But you know what pisses me off more than frumps? Frumps who retort to my exasperated comments towards their positively criminal dressing with this saying: “So? I got the potential to be hot. I know because there was one time I took the effort to dress nicely and everyone commented on how hot I was. So you see, as long I have the potential to be hot, I’m not a real frump. I’m just lazy to make an effort.” as if that statement alone excuses them of their apparent frumpiness as they continue to dress sloppily for the rest of their sloppy lives.

Stupid excuse ever. That’s like an obese person going “So what if I am obese? I got the potential to be slim ok. So to call me a pig is unfair. I just don’t want to exercise nia.” SO? Is that statement supposed to make you slim? NO! You’re still OBESE. Who gives a bloody toot on potentials if you never make it happen? Just because you have the ‘potential’ to be hot does not make you any less frumpy than you are now. You are still frumpy ok. Frumpy! Frumpy! Frumpy!


Then there is another commonly heard saying again: “Appearances don’t matter at all. It’s the inside that counts. You cannot judge other by looks. So as long as I make sure that I am nice inside I couldn’t be bothered to make myself look nice on the outside. Not important, looks.” while assuming a face of pious righteousness for being so unworldly that scorns us chio people.

I seriously hate this statement and if someone dare repeat it to my face again I daresay I will smack him/her. Hard. Appearances don’t matter my donkey. IT DOES OK?! Don’t simply go and misinterpret the saying! What the saying is trying to say is that the inside counts more than the outside and it does not matter how handsome you are if you are a jerk inside because you’re still a jerk. Albeit a handsome jerk. But does it say anything about the outside not amounting to anything? No okay. NO. Because the outside matters too. First impressions counts. Be honest and name me one kind and successful person who dress sloppily. You cannot can you? Because I believe that if you are all nice inside it will show on the outside too. If you care about others you would naturally care about yourself too right? Impossible you would sisua dress if inside you are a responsible person no?

Which means that all you frumpy people can just zip it. You’re all probably boring, irresponsible people who never make an effort in life. Do not kid yourself. I spend enough time with people like these (not by will but by force) in my 18 years of life to know it’s true. You can stop glaring at me in disdain when I make an effort to look better and ended up prettier than you. Am I stopping you from doing the same? So I see no cause of dislike on your part. Don’t blame the chio people who take the time to make an effort and make you look frumpier by saying we are superficial and fake. Am not. You are just lazy. Just accept the fact that you are a slob.

Ok back to my school people. I cannot stand girls who wear their school socks so high. It’s even worse when they pair it off with a ridiculously long pinafore shaped like a tent. Can stuff a pig up there and none would be the wiser.

Freakin ugly alright?! *groans* Burn those socks. Please. It’s really awful. I itch to tell them to buy ankle socks and shorter skirts. Simply cannot stand the sight of 7 inch socks with long skirts. So bag-ladyish. Or ah mah-ish. The nightmare. Cannot stand people who don’t brush their teeth also. Like super disgusting can? Like when they are talking to me and I cannot help but to be revolted by the sight of their teeth and wonder if the last time they brushed was since the dinosaurs’ era or if they know that the plaque on their teeth is already 4 inch thick and probably needs a chisel and hammer to remove it. Not heavy also meh if your teeth have like 30grams of plaque on it.

Their toothbrush

Of course I never got a word these people said as all I can see is their revolting teeth staring back at me and immediately I dream up a million ways to get them to brush their teeth, those slobs. They don’t feel disgusted meh? Ish. Scary people.

Back to frumpy people. For example, my PA teacher who looks uncannily like Edna from The Incredibles:

I swear she looks exactly like her!

This was what she wore the other day (created simply in photoshop for illustration purposes):


If that is not the most hideous combination of color ever then I dunno what is. The orange was 10 times more neon than that and I was just too lazy to photoshop it properly. For goodness sake, it looks like it was dunked in a combination of noxious toxic waste at some abandon plant factory. I nearly fell off my chair when she walked into class. Literally.

Plus the style! First off, the jacket is too short. I know that short jackets are all the rage nowadays but this is neither short enough to pass for the fashion ones nor long enough to pull of the classy look. Plus it’s so loose and makes one appear like an amorphous blob. But you know what I don’t get the most?

Why the heck does she even need the jacket in the first place?

The black dress is not even sleeveless rendering the use of the jacket redundant if it was meant as a cover-up. It doesn’t keep you warm and the neon orange color just clashes so loudly with the black dress till I swear I can still feel my ears ringing from the effect of the clash. Trust me, you’ll be doing everyone a favor by burning that deadly orange jacket into ashes. Think of all the eyes and ears you’ll save.

You know, I bet the designer thought he was so smart when he tried to balance the dress sleeves out by making the jacket sleeveless. No point having two sets of sleeves right? And on second thought, maybe he decided that the jacket would be sexier if he didn’t add buttons hence the absence of it causing it to billow out like a parachute whenever there is a gust of wind.

The vacuous fool.

This is not maths where you can simply subtract anything as long you add the same value in another equation and expect the answer to come out beautifully as it’s supposed to. THIS IS FASHION OKAY?! Loose, sleeveless, buttonless jackets are usually worn by who?

The DBKU rubbish-collector that’s who

Plus then there is the question of WHY THAT VILE SHADE OF NEON ORANGE when God gave us a myriad of other more flattering colors to choose from. That orange flatters no one. So why choose it??? After pondering upon it for ages, I have come up with the only plausible conclusion:

He must like Dragon Ball alot.

See? The exact same shade of orange.

He must be some Goku obsessed freak to defy all fashion laws just to incorporate those colors into his creation in hopes that his love for DBZ (Dragonball Z) would somehow shine through that jacket. You definitely don’t see anyone wearing that shade of orange around. Its suicide I tell you. Fashion suicide.

Wait….I think I’ve just discover why the jacket is sleeveless too! It’s not to balance the dress out like I originally thought BUT to match Goku’s dressing which coincidently also happens to be sleeveless! The absence of the buttons….it was excluded to create a closer match to Goku’s outfit.

And…and…and the black dress!!!!! It’s the color of Goku’s hair and belt! The clashing of colors were deliberate *gasp* He wasn’t color blind. The entire outfit was made with carefully calculated precision! He did not accidentally drop them into barrels of neon color toxic wastes like what I assumed in the beginning. By some secret weird amusement on his part, he wanted to incorporate all his freaky Goku fetishes into his designs!!!


I bet I’m the only one who managed to figure out his secret DBZ fetishes so far. See? I always knew I was smart. I am so warning my teacher on Monday about the secret history of this outf—wait! *sharp intake of breath* I think my teacher knows it already. Think about it. What sane person would buy such a hideous outfit without some freakish reason? A teacher again. A person who is supposedly said to possess a high amount of logic and intellect. *gulps* Yes….yes…I cannot believe it either….but it’s the only explanation…..

My teacher is a secret obsessed fan of Goku too.

*faints from shock*


Faye said...

heres to ankle socks ;)

Hana said...

HAHAHAHAHA!!! CHIO PENG the way he describe! But I beg to differ. Ankle socks is TEH BEST for our long pinafore unless you're wearing those hot Japanese uniform then you'll look great in long. In my opinion Either wear ankle socks or Grade A or B. Everything in between looks nerdy =P