Sunday, September 23, 2007


Sunday, September 23, 2007
My sister is attempting to juggle. Don't ask why. Shall blog about that next time.

Anyway, we have a book titled "How to do Just About Anything" which my dad bought in the US. So since my sister wants to learn juggling she took that book out because heaven knows just how many stuff you can find in there. Ranging from 'how to play chess', 'juggling', 'deer damage', 'house selling' down to even 'how to boil an egg' complete with graphics and stuff. Yes, when I read that I was like what the toot?!


If I was the author I would write "Please refer to 'cliff' under section C." where I would proceed to write "A cliff is a (insert descriptions of cliffs). If you were referred here from 'Egg Boiling' please do the world a favor of ridding it of idiots by jumping off one. Please refer to "Jump off" under section J if you have no idea what that term means because I am sure you don't."

Anyway, while I was lazily flipping through it I was struck with a thought: "how to do just about Anything???" *mischievous gleam* and proceed to hurriedly flip to the S section.......

Am sorely disappointed. It just went from "Severed limbs and digits" straight to "Sewing Machines". How can they have stuff like....(randomly flips open a page)....'Dirndl Skirt' (like serious, how the hell do you even pronounce that much less wear one?) and not that? An act since ancient time. Look, if you seriously do not get what I'm talking about by now then you must be a robot because no one is that innocent. Either that or you're a child and should not be reading my blog.

I flip to 'B' and also 'C' but fail to find all the hiao hiao terms I constantly hear at school *looks at book disgustedly* It so does NOT deserve it's title of "Just about ANYTHING". It's somewhat important ok? I mean you hear those terms at school everyday and not being able to know what it means? Cannot exactly go around asking people again right? Unless you want a black eye or two. Very frustrating leh. Even if you still insist that it is not very important but at least it's still more important then say, Dirndl Skirt.

Dirndl Skirt.......................

*snorts in contempt*

Anyway, I think I can write a BETTER book complete with all the terms one is require to know. Someone should so hire me to re-write the whole outdated book. I shall then be rich and shall finally get that silver convertible that is eluding me at present.

I think I shall ring up the publisher tomorrow *nods head determinedly*

Oh please. Stop giving me that shocked stare. (the guys I mean) You think girls are all ignorant innocent creatures meh? (yes, I know this so contradict my point of having to put those salacious terms in the book for better understanding but whatever) You see that nice, quiet, innocent, angelic-looking girl reading a romance novel there? *conjures up image of said girl and points at her* Yes, her.

"Yes, what about her? She is so sweet looking she cannot possibly be like you" you say. *snorts* I know for a fact that she ISN'T. Innocent I mean. Especially if she is reading a romance novel. You have NO IDEA on what goes on in that seemingly harmless looking book. Personally I dislike books like that (shocking isn't it?) but I know all quiet 'xiao jie' girls adores those kind. So if the boisterous type like me learns all those stuff from her guy friends (relatively speaking NOT literally you pervert) and all the quiet 'shu nu' ones learn those from her romance novels, that means everyone is the SAME. So wipe that disapproving frown off your face now. I am perfectly normal.

*Note: Not all romance novels are like that but the ones those girls read are mostly that kind.*

Anyway, back to the main topic: CPR. Seriously, I can never stick to the main point when I get started on something. I think I'm doomed in uni. The poor professors would die reading my ever on-going thesis that leads nowhere.

So as I was flipping through the pages I came across this section about CPR. CPR stands for 'cardiopulmonary resuscitation'. Bet you didn't know that *smug triumphant look*............ because I didn't. I never knew the C and P were one word. Interesting.

Over the years I have attended many first-aid courses thanks to school clubs and stuff yet none had ever fully taught CPR properly. Then again I never bothered because none of the instructors were hot enough for me to re-enforce the insistence of carrying out the full procedure. So I got to thinking about it today. Would it be a good thing if I knew CPR? Should I insist on learning it back then? Who knows one day I might save a life? I could be a hero! Or heroine if you prefer.

Was feeling kinda glum at this point (hero ok?! can get into newspaper! TV even!) till I was hit with another thought-provoking thought (I know the usage of words sounds wrong but I can't be bothered)

What IF the victim was this fat, ugly, rotten-decaying teeth guy and I am the ONLY one on scene who could perform CPR and it takes hours for a medic team to arrive?????

GROSS. Imagine if he was FAT again.

What should I do then? I most definitely do NOT want my mouth to be anywhere near his let alone performing CPR. If I save him I would live with regrets for my whole life and feel defiled forever. Might even consider celibacy. Yes, it's that horrible for me. But if I were to keep quiet and just let it be then he will most definitely die and where would I be? A lifetime filled with regrets for letting someone die because of my selfishness. Either way it's the same.

Then again, maybe not. At least I don't have to swear to a life-time of celibacy for the second. Ok, that is not the point I know. But seriously, it does makes you think somewhat hor? To save or not to save?

I asked Ariel on her opinion and she immediately shot back with a: "Of course not! Mai siao! Who knows he don't have disease? I don't want to die ok! He can just die. I shall walk away and pretend I dunno anything." before looking at me like I had gone retarded or something for asking such an obvious question.

I think she lack the lifetime of regret part in her. I wouldn't put it past her to do just that if such a situation were to arise hor. But really!!!! What should I do? It's either ruin his life or my life and take note that I am loving my life A LOT at the moment to give it up just like that. Is saving a life more important then my lifetime of happiness????? Can I ever kiss a guy again without recoiling in horror at the memory of that fateful day? Would I be a murderer if I refuse to help? SUCH AGONIZING QUESTIONS!!!!!!!!!! I think I'm going insane....

I turned to my sister in desperation for an answer and hearing my fervent incoherent ramblings she stopped her juggling and look pointedly at me and said:

"But you don't know how to perform CPR right?"

I could only look at her in gaped silence as the full weight of that sentence sink into my brain. She has resumed her juggling since then. And then I saw a ray of hope peeking through the dark clouds of my mind (I am so dramatic here). Such a simple answer yet so absolutely irrevocably PERFECT! I don't know how to perform CPR! Which means said situation above no longer applies to me. If the guy were to die I won't be guilty because I DO NOT KNOW CPR!!!!!! I can just stand there and shake my head solemnly and pray for a miracle (as long it does not involve me suddenly knowing how to perform CPR) and just move on happily with my life.

For once I am fully thankful for all those shy instructors who dare not teach us the full procedure. I thank the eastern values instilled in us causing us to be embarrassed when it comes to mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. I thank whoever it was that created these moral values that molded us to be more conservative. I also thank my sister for being level-headed at all times and for her life-saving (mine) answer for me............

I don't know CPR!!!!

*prances around in joy*

1 comment:

Domassism said...

I KNOW CPR. hahaha *gloats* btw, x comes after w. XD