Sunday, January 23, 2011

Gone are the days of my carefree youth

Sunday, January 23, 2011
So I was going rearranging all my uni assignment documents on my laptop and saw my media folder which I forgot even existed and after clicking it open in curiosity, was hit by a wave of nostalgia.

Darn if I do not miss them.

I remember those days when I would religiously follow ALL their talkshows, dramas, interviews, commercials, movies, music and the list goes on and accumulated quite a huge amount of media which I have since deleted or zipped and uploaded to some obscure file server which I have since forgotten.

Those days of being in fandom talking and laughing over the most ridiculous gossips ever but oh was it fun.

Days when I could keep up with 6 different j-dramas a week or watch an entire anime series for 10 hours straight. And still find time to screen cap and write reviews of each on my blog here and here.

And also read a bunch of mystery novels weekly.

And watch CSI Miami.

And play with my PSP/DS for hours.

And blog religiously on almost every single event in my life.

And still get straight A's and on the Dean's Honor List while at it.


Ever since I left PCC and transfered to UCD, I can barely even breathe. I still get the straight A's and Honors but by sacrificing all those time wasting things I used to love.

Day in and day out I find myself studying endlessly just to make sure I am on top of my insane reading assignments and homework and quizzes and what not. Then whatever free time I have left is spent rushing from one club activity to the next or doing volunteer work. And come fall I will be looking at internships and research. Probably a paid job while I'm at it too.

All because I want to go to dental school. Where only 300 are selected out from 3000 applicants or more. And getting 4.0s and high DAT scores alone doesn't cut it because America has this notion of having to be well-rounded meaning doing this and that extra community services and stuff.

There simply isn't enough time.

And so when people complain about their addiction to facebook and stuff, it takes all my willpower to refrain from biting out the clearest and most obvious solution:

Plan to go to grad school.

No really.

Then you'd find all your addictions and bad habits just fall away into oblivion because you are way too busy trying to do this and that just to HOPE you get into grad school.

For the first time in my life, I actually use a planner okay.

And my laptop is used solely for writing papers. I don't even check facebook nor twitter anymore and only log on to reply to someone or post a request/question on someone's wall.

My PSP is like tucked in some dusty corner of my closet and my DS... ok lah my DS I have been playing with it on bus rides home because there is this one game called 999: Nine Hours, Nine Persons, Nine Doors which is very addictive because its like a novel so I needn't do much but read and really you all should try it cuz its a mystery one where you have to solve complex puzzles (not IQ ones like Layton where I feel my brain dying even more after a day of chem and bio) to get out of a locked room and if you make a mistake you die or get blown up by the bomb planted in your stomach by this crazy insane guy who kidnapped you in the first place and yeah I know it sounds gruesome but the graphics aren't so its okay unless you have active imagination then you'd be fine and it has 6 different endings and I have since completed 3 which are all the bad endings gah just my luck.


I don't even have time to play KH or Ghost Tricks hor! Heck, I didn't even have time to play my beloved Ace Attorney last quarter and left it to the very end of the quarter where all my papers were done.

I bet my daddy is like super gleeful now after reading this because he hates how I kept watching animes and stuff in the past but couldn't say much cuz I still got great results but now I can't if I want to achieve my dreams.

So yeah, I miss those carefree days.

I always thought I could be one of those cool adults that you know can merge professional careers with like super boh liao hobbies like gaming and watching dramas till I'm 40 or something but fat chance. And I'm not even married with kids yet.

I am becoming so grownup-ish its depressing. And the sad thing is I can't run away and go back :C

Being capable kind of kill those joys. You have to choose between those time wasting but oh so enjoyable hobbies and what you know you could achieve if you sacrifice those.

And somehow you will always stupidly choose the life-sucking immense responsibility goals over the frivolous fun ones.

Ah, such is life.


♥~kimmy~♥ said...

wrote 2 emails to ur gmail.. please reply.. ^_^

lost n not found said...

WOW!!..that's definately a LOT!
I'm exhausted from reading all of it.
I'm still in the stage where I always choose the time wasting stuff over the more productive ones and it kinda always comes back to bite me in the ass. sorry if this is wierd cos you dont know me AT ALL..but this was again one of the moments where i chose to do the more enjoyable thing...and your blog seemed more entertaining than studing for the test i have tomorow!...hehe...

hana said...

@lost n not found: lol you don't have to read all of them XD I tend to write a lot because I just like writing and that is short to me lols.

Ah, one day you'll be forced to go out of that state. Or maybe not. It depends on what you really want in life I guess.

And nah its not weird, I like reading comments from people I don't know. Its fun to know what others think :)

Have fun but make just make sure it doesn't mess up your life and you'd be fine ^__^