Monday, September 7, 2009

I look and feel like a prune

Monday, September 7, 2009
So as most of you probably know, I paid a little visit to the dermatologist last week in hopes of getting a magical cream for flawless skin. I've been reading tons of beauty blogs and everyone recommended seeing a dermatologist to fix any acne problems you might have.

Now, I won't exactly say I have an acne problem since the doctor's first words when he saw me was "You have acne??? Or is this just your good day?" and what he didn't say was clearly written all over his face: "You better not be wasting my time you frivolous airhead".

In my defense, I do get terrible breakouts during my monthly cycle and my skin isn't exactly smooth smooth. So anyway, I managed to wheedle out some products from him which costs me a whopping $45 plus consultation fee $20 and parking $4 wth so altogether its an effing $69 for this one visit. Now isn't that just a pretty number. I have to follow-up with him in another 3 months again sigh.

Oh, and I'm only allowed water-based makeup meaning I have to change my entire makeup products since its all oil-based and apparently water-based products cost a bomb. So now I'm cheating by using mineral makeup or just going out nude. In the face I mean.

I shall invest in hugeass sunnies tomorrow.

Anyway, guess what? My skin now looks 100 times shittier than before. I woke up yesterday morning with incredibly dry flaky skin and despite forcefully drinking 2 pitcher full of water and dabbing on copious amounts of moisturizer, I still look and feel like shit. In fact, I look like the mummy returns minus a couple hundred years wteff.

To be fair, I was warned by everyone including doctors that your skin would get considerably worse the first few months before it completely clears up but clearly, I didn't know what I was really getting myself into because its so terrible that my face feels like the sahara desert 24/7 and the medicine really freaking BURNS when applied now. Its like flames licking at your face as jolts of cold pain spread throughout your body every passing second and I suddenly have this urge to go out on mission trips spreading the gospel because if this is what hell feels like, then it is no joking matter darn it.

All these suffering and I haven't even started taking the pills yet which I shall soon in hopes that it might get better (wishful thinking). Why couldn't my appointment be during the summer dammit so I needn't go to classes everyday looking like something the cat dragged in???? Actually, why did I think messing with my skin in the first place was a good idea? Oh, because I wanted to look like Vivi models and what not. Right.

Somewhere in the midst of the intoxicating summer heat, I got this ridiculous notion that I could look real pretty if I just make that effort to and bought a crap load of stuff in hopes of achieving the look and totally missed my real goal in life. Which is to transfer into Berkeley next year. Who definitely doesn't give a rat's ass on how I look but on how I performed academically.

So enough is enough and my last purchase of circle lenses (yes, this is how shamefully far I'd since sunk) will be my last frivolous purchase ever. I'd just logged onto my college account and realized that I'd been on the honor roll for my freshman year (surprise surprise I never knew) and so here's to another year of straight As. Now I won't go around yapping about how beauty is totally superficial and unimportant because it is important. But its not everything. And looking back, I'd totally lost that sense of balance then. Thankfully, I managed to get my head back from the clouds in time and so here I am, bad skin and all, ready to resume another few tedious hours of studying.

Balance. I might need a couple of 'road signs' every now and then but I think I'm slowly finding it.


Vanessa said...

Hah, love your writing style! Are you using Retin-A by any chance? I remember it made my skin really dry and flaky. When you have your follow-up, ask the derm about Tazorac. Much better results, and faster, IMO...

hana said...

HOW DID YOU KNOW?! lol worst week of my life I swear. Its no longer flaking anymore atm but has since moved on into the 'ha here's more blemishes for you while you adjust to me' stage :C

Tazorac eh? Will do so then. Thanks for the info! :D