Tuesday, September 8, 2009


Tuesday, September 8, 2009
I had the most bizarre dream ever this morning. One that includes being chased by Malaysian secret agents all over CA and later to my grandmother's house in Kenyalang before back to the states again and for what crime did I commit, I have no idea. Funnily enough it also included my cousin's friend magically transforming me into a 7 disc long CD case to hide in her video shop lol super wteff no? Various other oddities also occurred the longer I slept on and yet I refused to wake up.

Because in one scene of the dream, while being chased, I found myself suddenly in a cinema. And in the midst of the crowd was a guy. One who grabbed me by the shoulders and pulled me into his arms while I was still in shock. One who had the brightest blue eyes and an even brighter smile. One who acted as if I were his long lost girlfriend and used that as a pretext to usher me into the nearest theater to safety. I do not know him. Its also funny how dreams seem to ignore all personal prejudices because if it were up to my control, he would have been some stunning Asian instead.

As minutes flew by however, I found myself unconsciously drawn deeper and deeper into his apparent warmth and happiness. What stood out to me later was when I caught a look of my reflection in a mirror and saw that I looked like a total wreck. My face was devoid of makeup and looked like shit and my hair was a mess from all that running. Yet, if he noticed then, he never said a thing. Instead, he just kept smiling his boyish smile while joyfully rambling about various stuff a mile a minute which my brain never really processed as I was too busy trying to fit the pieces of my previous dream and current situation together.

Somehow we ended up watching some movie with a bunch of caucasian kids later crawling into our laps as if we were some assigned baby sitter and I see him sigh apologetically at me once before happily squishing them all into his seat with him. The children loved him. A wave of peace washed over me and I was mesmerized.

I don't remember when the dream shifted but I soon found myself leaving him all too early.

Once again I was back to my nightmare of being chased by crazy agents and midway through I realized with sinking dread that I had never gotten his name. And suddenly, in that one single moment of realization, it seemed so crucial that I had to know and the thought of never seeing him again filled me with so much trepidation it left my head reeling with despair.

And so I spent the whole morning stuck in my hellish nightmare trying to find him.

I never did.

And so I gave up.

1 comment:

Joyce said...

Hey Hana!

I got your message and I did mail them out a long time ago! I mailed out 2 to the States 1 to Indonesia and 1 to the UK. I think out of all those only Millie from the UK got her package :( Although I did choose the cheapest mailing option the post office didn't exactly tell me when it would be arriving. Sorry but hang in there and hopefully it'll reach you soon! xx