Blessed

I am blessed. So blessed till sometimes I don't even notice it anymore and take things for granted.

Yesterday we met Uncle Hong at KGS and he invited me and Ariel for a sushi fest. It was the greatest!!! All the expensive sushis we can eat =D Of course I asked....remember what I said about asking? hehe. But no I did not shamelessly ask people outright to chia me ok. He was announcing his plans to eat a Japanese meal that night and I just jokingly asked if I could join when he immediately agree and heartily asked us to join him. I love sushi!!!!! Have been craving for it so long and finally I get to eat them again =)

But it's not the question of asking. Anyone can ask but would their request be accepted? And I realized that for these past few years almost none of my requests were ever turned down much to my surprise in some cases where I never even expected them to be fulfilled. And that's when I realized that I'm truly blessed. Ever since I started serving in church my life has gotten happier and more fulfilled. I was never left in want. Whatever I desired was given to me in many different ways. Even things I didn't asked for.

But over a period of time I tend to get numb at times and forget that it is He who blessed me with all these in the first place. Sometimes I let pride take over a little and think that it is by my doing alone that I receive all these. Comfort does that to you sometimes. I started grumbling occasionally when I am faced with piles of tasks for MYF take requires a huge chunk of my weekend or even weekdays. I got annoyed with some of the spoilt children at Sunday School (honestly, they really really really get on your nerves at times) and went to class with feelings of discontentment. What used to be fun and challenging was now viewed as a obstacle towards my enjoyment in life. I was just so so comfortable with my life that I didn't want to do a single hard work that would pry me away from my luxuries anymore.

I am surprised and quite grateful that I still have not reach the stage where some ill will must befall me for me to come to my senses and stop wallowing in things I wanna do for ME. I don't want to reach that point in life ever where calamities are the only things that can reform me. Where I must fall to the very bottom to see my mistakes.

So this post is to remind myself to not get too full of myself and that it is only through His grace am I able to have such a wondrous life. To remind me to give thanks for everything be it small or big. To know that it is not by my might alone but through His mercy and grace. To count every blessing. To continue worshiping and serving Him for the rest of my life.

I was so wrong to think that all those hard work was an obstacle to life's pleasure. Sure, I have to sacrifice quite a number of fun things for the sake of certain ministries. I admit that at times it gets hard and painful where you see your friends apparently enjoying themselves while you slave away doing some work where nobody knows it's done by you. Serving in church doesn't gives you credits. No one knows what you do or how hard you worked and sometimes you start wondering if it's worth it. The endless struggles where you're caught between your friends and serving Him. The loneliness you feel at times where you have to turn down certain appointments with friends for the sake of MYF or stuff. The vibe your friends gives you at time when you choose church over them and the list goes on...

But at the end of the day, God never fails you. The blessings he returns to you is more than you can ever imagined. More fulfilling than all those outings. A different kind of pleasure altogether. A different kind of happiness. The peace you receive is incomparable. You don't need recognition and you don't need credits to motivate you to serve. You don't need worldly entertainment all the time to feel happy. Those are nothing compared to what He gives you in return. Even as I'm writing this now I cannot help but feel overwhelmed on how my life has changed so much during these few years. Even when I'm not so gracious at times and maybe a tad disobedient but yet He never once forsake me.

Yes, for all these I can say I am truly blessed.