You're Asking Me...

AS IF I REALLY HAD A CHOICE OF SAYING NO -____-

Just because you're White, doesn't mean you're right

Especially when it has to do with asian stuff.

You know what I mean, like in history class you pronounce Mao Ze Dong as 'Mao Tze Doong' and you get some smart alec non-asian go 'NO ITS MAO ZAY DONG' as in ding dong bell dong. And you stare at them all incredulous like internally thinking are you for friggin real before you realize that yes they are for real and thus you reply saying 'uh no, its no--' before getting cut off yet again with them citing that 'the person in the T.V. pronounced it that way so I'm right' and wonders of wonders the narrator is.... caucasian -__-

EXCUSE ME. Hello?! Asian here? Not to mention I'm chinese again so I think *I* would know how to rightly pronounce a fellow chinese's name.

wth is this where I'm being doubted on something to do with my culture. I sure as heck don't go no its not pronounced as coffee its kah-fei/ko-hi okay what is wrong with you pronouncing even the simplest of words wrong?! to you do I?

Anyways, you get the gist of it.

So the other night I went out for dinner with my suitemates and midway through our conversation, the topic switched to rice and sorority girl went 'I put ketchup on my rice' to which all 3 of us asians started grimacing internally before drama queen piped up that she eats her rice with butter and WHAT why are we staring at her like that and don't you guys do it too???

Uh no. No we don't. We eat our rice with meat and veggies. Even better when there is sauce from either the meat or veggie and we stir it up with our rice total yums okay. Butter and ketchup on steamed rice wth that is like the most disgusting thing I've ever heard of but to each their own and I was fine with that until....

"Eww you guys do that???"

(When gamer girl told her about the mixing rice with sauce and meat/veggies thing) before proceeding to give us the most disgusted hell-no-you-don't-do-that-with-rice look and trying to get us to agree with her that rice should be eaten with butter cuz apparently all her friends does that too so therefore its the right/better method.

Not gonna lie. I am very slightly irritated by now.

RICE IS OUR STAPLE FOOD SO I THINK OUR SAY IN HOW ITS SUPPOSED TO BE EATEN TRUMPS YOURS ANY DAY ROAR!

Do you know how ridiculous you sound arguing about that with me. No? Well its like me saying "I eat mashed potatoes with soy sauce. WHAT YOU MEAN YOU EAT YOURS WITH GRAVY? GROSS." or "Everyone knows that spaghetti should be eaten with fish sauce and shiitake mushrooms" -rolls eyes-

Honestly, what is it with most of them thinking that their ways of doing everything is right and totally not weird even when that something is not their culture to begin with and instead slamming us for doing something that we've been doing for like idk, five thousand years so I think if anyone is out of the norm, its you.

Butter with rice....

And I'm not talking about butter prawns with rice okay.

But 100% nothing but pure butter....

On rice.

Eww.

I is not happy >C

WHY is it that every time I make this resolution to go on a serious diet, my mom would suddenly decide that its the best time to cook and bake up a storm? I am irritated beyond belief ok?!

And how every single time I think I had gotten a really great work out from the gym and am feeling all proud of myself, I would find myself coming home to a dinner of roast beef, baked potatoes, pumpkin pies and brownies with ice cream??? WHY?!?!?!

So yesterday, Natasha emailed me about this Halloween beach party (BEACH party. In FALL no less. wth ok I was so happy summer has finally passed and was about to happily sink my teeth into anything yummy and this silly invite has to come up *sad) and I realized that I had exactly ONE month to become all thin again so I decided to cut down all my food intake by half. Or 3 quarters I don't care I am desperate just like that.

 And I was doing so fine yesterday but then!!!! Guess what happened this morning.... YES OK MY MOTHER SUDDENLY DECIDED TO MAKE BEEF NOODLES (MY FAV WTH) AND FRIED YAM MEAT PUFFS AND HARKOW (OMG HARKOW SHE DOESN'T ONLY WANT TO SHAKE MY WILLPOWER, SHE WANTS TO SQUASH IT AND GRIND IT INTO ITTY BITTY PIECES OF DUST BEFORE BLOWING IT AWAY WITH THE WIND WHILE LEAVING ME AS THIS EMPTY SHELL DAMMIT). And now she's baking trays and trays of apple pies.

tmd hopping mad ok! I'd been pestering her for months to make beef noodles and har kow but she always chose to ignore me and now that I suddenly decide to secretly go on a diet, she goes and make them???? Its like she has this inner sensor that would unconsciously kick start up her desire to make yummy yummy food as soon as it sense the beginnings of my diet plans. Why me seriously why me T_________T

My mother is like the evil food temptress incarnate I swear.

More like ketchup fried rice with scrambled eggs

I hate that no matter how many times I try making Omurice, it always turn out to be ONE BIG FAIL.

Same goes for cookies.

Road Rage

So I thought I should start blogging as before again where I just randomly jot down my thoughts of the day.

So daddy's brain surgery was successful and he is now recuperating nicely in the hospital. Only, its all the way in downtown LA and so I am forced to drive on the freeways for hours everyday and I swear my blood pressure has been sky rocketing ever since. Stupid bloody trucks hate them all for they block all signs in sight and when you're going at 60-65 miles per hour, not being able to know whats ahead of you is like the worse nightmare ever.

Half tank of gas gone just like that in 3 days because I kept going the wrong way (stupid GPS. AND stupid huge trucks) the first few times and if I hear the word 'recalculating' again, I will go mad crazy.

I swear my GPS is cursed too and wants me to die because it keeps giving me purposefully wrong instructions like turning in the opposite direction for a one way street, turning into a abrupt dead end or telling me to turn when there is no freaking road to do so. Screw you GPS and thank heavens for my glasses. Or not I would be a blogging ghost now.

Oh and today some moron driver nearly drove into my side (missed by a fraction of a second!) because the stupid idiot decided to rush through a stop sign tmd the fungusbrain *&^%^$!@! GOT STUPID BUSHES AND TREES BLOCKING YOUR VIEW OF ME HOR SO WHAT DID YOU THINK THE STOP SIGN WAS FOR??? SO HOPPING MAD OK BECAUSE I DIDN'T GET TO BLARE MY HORN AT HIM! Was too shocked to do anything but step like mad on the accelerator!

Super hate motorists who NEVER signal when cutting into your lane too wteff HATE.

And buses and trucks and lorries and vans taller than mine because ladkjalkdjas I cannot see whats ahead of me and thus the resulting 'recalculating' scenarios.

imo, ALL shorter/smaller vehicles should be equipped with a super long periscope akin a submarine:

I WANT

I used to scoff at people who get road rage and think them immature but the more I drive on the road, the more inconsiderate drivers I encounter, and thus the more pissed off I get and I give myself 2 more weeks before I can just glue my hands on the horn forever. Yes, I used to be this noob driver who always realized that it wasn't her mistake 5 heartbeats too late but the other or reached for the horn 3 seconds late allowing the culprit to rush away scot-free. Now? No more! Am getting quicker and quicker at honking my indignation! :DDDD

HOOONNNNKKK!!!!

So liberating I swear ♥

Ooh I want you, you rock me, you rock me, you rock me in

I don't care what people say, Britney Spears latest album is still damn awesome to me ♥

Anyway, today was one craptastic day. Everything that could go wrong went wrong. Drove to class for the first time ever and the only road which I know how to get there was blocked due to some construction. Like RIGHT BEFORE THE PARKING ENTRANCE.

JUST 5 EFFING FEET OF DISTANCE BETWEEN ME AND THE ENTRANCE AND NO EFFING WAY FOR ME TO GET INSIDE.

Was ready to cry bucket of tears as I drove on into some unknown road because I have no other roads to turn into dammit. Managed to find another familiar looking road by sheer luck while blindly circling my way throughout the city.

Then I had to go and scratch someone's car in the parking lot because I have a bigass van thanks to my large family. Guess what cars most students drive and now guess for what kind of cars are the parking lots built for. Enlightenment of the day: Bigass vans and compact parking spaces do not go together.

Guy was pretty cool about it though so I just left my number with him because I was late for my Stats test and now that its over (I BLEW THE TEST BTW SO I AM VERY MISERABLE NOW TOO CUZ I AM AN IDIOT WHO READS TOO DEEP INTO SOMETHING THAT IS MEANT TO BE SIMPLE. Stupid colored bowling balls T___T) I realized that I gave him the wrong number (2nd sis is holding my number and is currently in Washington DC) so he's gonna think I'm a lying bitch when he can't get a hold of me. Might even be reported to the police wth. Hello possible jail time!

Got myself lost in the parking lot of the gym later. Have no idea how I ended up in the other half of the building (Citibank wth) and couldn't find my way back to LA Fitness despite circling the lot like 15 times. Damn horrible feeling I tell you where all around you are identical concrete walls and you can't pause to figure out your direction because there are lines of cars behind you dammit. Some stupid chick drove in the wrong lane at high speed too and would have rammed into me had I not blast my horn loudly at her. So anyway, I had to like exit the building in the end and re-enter it from the original entrance again like some noob and this time by sheer gut feeling managed to find the right turning to the gym. Screw signs I say. Which totally misled me in the first place. GUT FEELINGS FTW. Despite how statistics says otherwise.

Someone should make GPSes for parking lots. Effing win I tell you.

And will people stop trying to re-add me in FB? It's getting a little annoying. So I went through my friends list a couple times and did a few cuts. I'm sorry but I feel uncomfortable having unknown people in my list. Or like people I've met but never talked more than 5 sentences to. Or people whose lives I (to be honest) really couldn't care less about so I needn't put up with tons of bad-lighting pics and whiny rants constantly flooding my homepage. Maybe I'm being anal but I am OCD just like that and like my privacy :)

I should have shouted or kicked up any kind of fuss

I AM PISSED.

And the more I think about it (which is like every bloody minute ever since the incident) the angrier I get and wish for nothing better but a time machine so I can go back in time to beat the crap out of her.

So I was on my way to print out my transcript for some Berkeley stuff and then there was this forty-ish year old woman (a student I presume) who was coming my way and since the path was very narrow, I squeezed to one side and even went all 'oh sorry' and guess what she did?

BARGE RIGHT INTO ME THAT'S WHAT SHE DID.

STUPID WOMAN PRACTICALLY IGNORE ME AND BODY SLAM ME SO HARD TILL I NEARLY FELL OVER WTH IS THIS?! AND MOVED ON AS IF I WERE NOTHING BUT A GHOST SHE CAN'T SEE NOR FEEL.

My first instinct was to go all WTH YOU BLIND?! but then swallowed it back down cuz I was afraid she might be (her face was like zombie blank) and if that were the case then I would be sued or something for discriminatory remarks but then I realized that wth we are in the computer lab and what would a blind person be doing in a computer lab? I was also too shocked to react immediately because what kind of normal person would just walk right into someone and not apologize? (rude bitches that's who)

But by the time I had gathered all my senses, she was already quite a fair bit away from me and I decided to just let it go as I had things to rush BUT NOW THAT I THINK BACK TO IT I AM EXTREMELY PISSED AND WISHED I HAD YANKED HER BACK BY THE ARM TO SHOUT MY DISCONTENTMENT.

The guys were all very nice though and asked if I were okay and thought she was batshit nuts too and if it weren't a small lab, I bet they would have yelled at her for me.

And nope this is not racism because the woman was Asian. I'm also guessing that the guys didn't shout at her too thinking that my lack of reaction was due to our Asian culture of not yelling at elders YEAH RIGHT THIS IS AMERICA, I don't care if you're an effing 100, if you're rude to me, I'll give you a piece of my mind too, culture be damned. I was just too shocked at that moment and am regretting it like anything now because I AM DOWNRIGHT IRRITATED YOU HEAR ME?

I hope something bad befalls her tonight. Like a sumo wrestler blown in from a tornado in Japan and falling on her while she sleeps.

Have also concocted up a few choice sentences which I can spew out on the spot should I run into anymore rude people like these again.

Still pissed but am feeling slightly better nonetheless now that I've gotten it out of my system. Hmph.

Friday the 13th yo

So I sat for my driving test today.

Because I am not superstitious although many are seeing as how the DMV was like totally void of the usual crowd so I didn't have to wait for hours under the scorching sun for my turn :D

I was feeling all chipper and confident, marveling at how things were going so smoothly and how I would be home in a shorter time than anticipated. ONLY right at the last minute, when it was my turn to sit for the test, the examiner discovered that I was lacking the blue license sticker for this year (some kind of road tax thing) on my car plate and refused to let me sit for the test unitl I get one.

Apparently, SOME MOTHER*^%#$@% IDIOT STOLE THE STICKER OFF MY CAR PLATE THE MORON >:(' And so I was sent back to the office to apply for a replacement sticker which cost me an extra hour of waiting time and 18 bucks (18!!!!! Just add $1 and can buy THIS already ok!) alfjhaljhflkahflas I was angry. So was daddy. How can some people just rip off other people car license sticker omg I hope he/she falls into a drain really I do. And why is the DMV not smart enough to put some sort of identification trait on the stickers so it can't be used by others?????

I also lost the nice guy examiner in the process!

And got this strict looking woman one instead when I went back in line for my test T________T I don't like women examiners. In fact, I don't like women anything as they are mostly picky, meticulous and like nothing better than to give you a hard time. Stupid sticker stealer I hope someone steal yours too. Only it would be MINE they are re-stealing again so you falling into a drain is still a better fantasy. Only America have no open drains now that I think about it so uhm well, I hope you hit a cow in Texas (because I cannot think of any animal big enough to run into in LA) and get your ass sued by PETA.

And here's to the woeful tale of my horrid luck at snagging this woman examiner who nit-picked on nearly everything I did like saying how I did not come to a complete halt at stop signs (I SO DID. THERE WAS EVEN THE TINY JERK YOU FEEL WHEN YOU BRAKE COMPLETELY HMPH) or how I slowed up traffic at one point where I was to change lane and this is the part where I tell you the story of stupid drivers who speed up when I speed up and slow down when I slow down, leaving this 'alang-alang' gap like an unreachable desert oasis where I can see the space for me to change lane but can't because his stupid car head is right beside the tail of my car leaving me helpless to do anything the moron just how did he pass anyway?!

However..........despite all these unfortunate events, I PASSED YO!!!!! :DDDDDDD

I HAVE MY LICENSE NOW LALALALA AM WAITING FOR IT TO COME IN THE MAIL YAY!!! AM ALSO GETTING A CAR OF MY OWN :DDDD

Only thing is I now have to buy car insurance so I need to find a job T____T I can't drive my dad's car without insurance now that I've pass wth I think I was better off when I had no license cuz I needn't pay a cent then T_____T

Also discovered that the picture for my driving license would be the picture they took of me when I first registered for my written test, which coincidentally was the time where I was my fattest with bad hair and had yet to discover the awesome combination that is eye glue and eyeliner T___________T

It's like life is out to get me until I'm old and haggard with 27 cats T____T

This is the post where I rant about how much I hate the world

1. I just screwed up a batch of donuts thanks to my mom. Who kept sidling up to me every 5 minutes, peer over my shoulder and start interfering by telling me to cut back on yeast and water blablabla and GUESS WHAT HAPPENED LATER?

DOUGH DIDN'T RISE.

And I may have just created the most oil absorbing sponge ever. Since all it could do -besides sitting there like the miserable lump it is- is sucking up a ton of oil as soon as it hits it. So I had to throw the whole mess into the bin. And I really really wanted to eat donuts tonight. I even put aside my English assignments just to make them. So it goes without saying that I am SO DAMN PISSED ALL I FEEL LIKE SAYING IS:

ALKFHAKFBHAKWHEFKLJAWTFBBQBFKHQWFHNQKFHNHKQLWHEBF.

Because words cannot describe how I feel now.

Now don't' get me wrong, my mother is an awesome cook. Just ask anyone. Only, her methods work only for herself and being the awesome cook she is, she thinks she is right in everything and must have a say in whatever you're doing. Oh and getting mildly annoyed when my cooking turn out better than hers on the rare occasions I do cook. Which I highly suspect is the main reason on why she refuses to teach me how to cook all these years and resign me to brainless duties like throwing out the thrash or mashing up potatoes instead.

YOU KNOW MOM, WHEN I MOVE OUT, I AM SO INSTALLING A KITCHEN DOOR IN MY HOUSE WHEREBY I WOULD LOCK IT WHENEVER YOU COME BY TO VISIT. PERIOD.

p/s: Forgot to pray beforehand too resulting in this mess. I also seem to remember that whenever I did pray, my mom was magically occupied with other things to interfere with my cooking/baking. So let this be a lesson to me.


2. Pet Society banned me. So I admit I cheated and its unfair but WHAT. No one said you couldn't cheat too. But if you're gonna harp about how it takes the fun out of the game to cheat and other similar pompous moral speech then DON'T. And if you refuse to cheat then stfu and stop whining if others do. It's not my fault you're a moralistic up-righteous player. You make your rules, you live by it.

I also dislike people who keep talking about how cheating makes the game boring. I LIKE MY GAME BORING SO WHAT SAY YOU. I don't care really as long as I'M RICH AND HAVE A PRETTY HOUSE TO DECORATE. So there.


3. FB has the crappiest video uploader ever. Took me forever to upload Tegomass's videos wth. (btw, who is the maintainer for their fan page? Make me one too okay cuz I swear I can do a better job) And what is up with the progress bar that keeps freezing but in actual reality is still uploading in the background so what you get is '5%......FREEEEEZE......FREEEEEZE......FREEZE TILL WORLDS END.....BAM! 95% 100% your video has been successfully uploaded. WTH.


4. I hate long winding and vague authors because guess who is still up at 3am now trying to analyze one longass essay? I am tired and irritable and half thinking of burning my books into ashes atm.

Life pretty much suck at the time being.

T____________T

Guess who's in Hawaii right now?

NEWS

And where am I?

STUCK IN STUPID L.A.

Same country, different state. So near yet so far. Life is cruel.

T________________T

*No they are not doing a concert cuz if they were, nothing can stop me from flying there even if it means sneaking into a tourist luggage or the meal trolley =) Yes I'm aware I sound deranged =) So they are just there for some photo/commercial shoots. BUT STILL!!! I wish I was back in Hawaii instead =C

Wait, but they must like pass through LAX (LA Airport in case you dunno) to like return to Japan no? Sometimes I wish I was a legally certified nut so I can stalk the airport without qualms. Hmm.

Regrets

I think I may have just made the BIGGEST MISTAKE in my life.

Daddy was right (isn't he always? *bitter) and I should have taken Korean instead of Japanese. I wonder if its too late to switch now....

This is because my employment could well be riding on this very fact. In fact, SoCal is pretty much riddled with Koreans it was silly to think that I could escape from the importance of learning it. Well, at least for my city. Unless I move to Arcadia where all the Chinese are but srsly, so not happening anytime soon =C

Plus not only do I get mistaken for being Korean half the time but hello my last name is Sim which is Korean too so I can pretty much fake my way through as one if I could only speak the language. SIGH DAMNITALL I AM SO DOWNLOADING THOSE KOREAN LANGUAGE SOFTWARE NOW.

I've already memorized their alphabets the other day and now all I need is to learn the grammar.

Now where did Soeun go.....

Update: On second thought, no, I'm glad I took Japanese. I don't care but I am so going to Japan to get myself into one of NEWS concert cuz alkfjhaklfhasdf have you seen the fancam of their Tokyo Dome opening?! CUTEST THING EVAR OMG!

I shall just uhm learn Korean from books and through friends =x

But wait....I think I need a job first to make my wish come true? Ah shucks. Life is so difficult and unfair =C

Robbed

So I've just received news that my house back in Kuching was robbed.

My whole effing refrigerator, both tv, oven, sound system, washing machine, and a whole slew of furniture were carried off. The whole house is a wreck now. Even the pillows were stolen. Pillows.

SERIOUSLY LIKE WTH STUPID EFFING COUNTRY WITH ITS INCREASINGLY INEFFICIENT SAFETY ENFORCEMENTS.

Btw, where were my neighbors?

Abducted by aliens I presume since that is the only way A WHOLE FRIDGE CAN DISAPPEAR FROM RIGHT UNDER THEIR NOSES. ROARRRR!!!

atm the number of things missing is still unconfirmed but damnit all I have this really intense adversity towards the people there (excluding the nice people) and probably the whole city or country in general now and the robbers can just go to he-- a pit of blazing inferno for all eternity.

Am effing pissed off to the max now.

My head hurts....

Need. ibuprofen. now.

Update: I've seen the pictures. It's like the worst nightmare ever. Damages and lost could well be over 50k I don't really know cuz I'm in a dazed now. All I know is that I couldn't care less if I never see Kuching or Msia for that matter ever again. There is completely no point for me in returning to visit whatsoever anymore. I just hate.... everything. The lousy lowlifes and useless government. All I know is that I won't be missing the so called cat city much. If at all.

Rain Rain Go Away

I take back every nice thing I said about rain. Rain is only lovely when you're all cozy up in your little warm car or home instead of freezing your butt off in the middle of nowhere.

Which was the exact situation I was in this morning.

Lousy rain suddenly started pouring, drenching me from head to toe till I looked like some sort of unfortunate scraggly sopping wet alley-cat. So much for my pretty outfit and freshly blown salon hair.

Shivering under a pitiful shade barely enough to keep a door-mouse dry in a weather colder than your house's ice-box like a slab of frozen meat with annoying drivers honking and slowing to a stop beside me going all 'Hey baby need a ride?' every 5 minutes, I have never hated the rain as much as I did back then.

Cannot even run back home cuz I'm smack dab right in the middle between school and home and I really wanted nothing but to stoop on the doorstep and cry my whole heart out ='C Called daddy and all he said was 'But I cannot take you okay I'm doing my research and DON'T SIT IN ANYONE'S CAR blablabla' before hanging up =CCCC

ASLFJANSDLKFHAS WHAT HAPPENED TO MY WONDERFUL DADDY WHO NEVER FAIL TO SAVE ME FROM A PINCH??? T______T

As if I would sit in a stranger's car too pfft I may be a sopping wet mangy alley-cat at the moment, but better that then a strangled, mangled and very dead alley-cat.

Totally lost all mood for class and wanted to sneak into Starbucks and drown my sorrows in a cup of hot coffee but my 'studious good student' self took over and I found myself passing Starbucks and going off to class instead. What is wrong with me? Cannot even skip one class =C

Stupid horrid crappy day I hate the rain. California can don't rain for all I care. If it must, then rain in the summer and only summer.

Was still in a sour mood after class and cheered myself up by indulging my whole afternoon shopping in Forever 21 and found the loveliest white coat ever for only 21 bucks =DDD But that was all cuz I cannot fit into/look good in any other outfit as my hips are too wide or my boobs too small or the cutting just so wrong sigh I tried on like 60 outfits ok today must really be my unlucky day. I think it's totally unfair that I cannot eat a single morsel of junk food and despite my insane hours at the gym I am still NOT skinny unlike some people who just spend their days hula-hooping and BAM! Chioness =CCC

Life suck.

Am off to prepare for tomorrow's thanksgiving. Forget restrictions. I am so stuffing myself with turkey tomorrow ♥

What I Want For Christmas

A BIG MEAN DOG

I shall call him Snappy.

And Snappy's main duty is to bite all those annoying idiots on the streets.

A.I: Hi gorgeous! *lecherous smile*
Me: Go Snappy go! *bites*

A.I2: Hey lady, stay with me a while?
Me: Snappy! *bites*

A.I3: Hey there, have a boyfriend?
*BITES*

Muahahahahaha!!!! Best fantasy atm.

I have enough of being perpetually harassed by random strangers every time I walk home from school. If I hear one more lecherous remark again I will implode. Apparently MP3 players and sunnies are not enough and they'll only shout louder when you ignore them and some get would this slightly violent look on their faces I am effing afraid ok?!

I have never felt more vulnerable than during those situations where I realize just how girl and powerless I am. I should really get the stupid pepper spray Ammy's been asking me to ages ago. What was once merely an annoyance is now turning into my deepest fear for me and I find myself now dreading walking outside alone or digging through my closet for like the shabbiest outfit I can find.
Where is my freedom you tell me? Why am I being deprived from dressing nicely out of fear of being harassed? Who gives guys the right to do whatever they want huh?|
I am angry.

But more than that, I am afraid.

Somebody should just mass produce Zettai Kareshi(s) because I would buy one. Provided it doesn't go and develop human feelings as seen in the drama.

Anyway, till then, mean dog. Christmas present. Me. Remember that =)

Overexposure

So I still retained my gym membership after all cuz companion or no, I must lose the weight ok. And really I've been wanting to rant about the gyms here cuz honestly, enough is enough.

Who needs Playboy here really, just go to the gym.

So back to my first day where there I was, innocent happy little 18 year old me, who after signing up immediately flitted off happily to the changing room to change only to be assaulted by an eyeful of naked old women with saggy boobs wth.

WTH IS THIS OK DID I ENTER THE WRONG ROOM OR WHAT and so I backtracked to double check the sign on the door but it still said 'changing room' in big bold letters and not 'nudist lounge' so I wasn't mistaken after all. I was still in a total dazed confusion and looked around for the actual rows of changing rooms as found in clubs like KGS in Kuching till SoEun went all 'just where are you going?' while I mumble something about 'finding the darn changing rooms' and she just went 'but THIS is the changing room'.

Oh.

Say what?!?!? This huge area is not some waiting lounge but the changing room? And just to prove their point, everyone just ignored my incoherent sputters and started stripping while I made a hurried beeline for the handicap toilet (cuz its huge) to change wth I die die refuse to change in front of everyone ok.


I miss Malaysia's conservativeness =C

Then just the other day, after carefully averting my eyes from every breathing creature in the room, I zipped across the room right into the steam bath only to be confronted with this fat woman sitting cross legged like a naked Buddha in front of me with rolls and rolls of fat overlapping each other like slabs of salami. GAAAAAH!!!! Is this even allowed?! Shouldn't there be a rule about swimsuits or towels at the very least ok this is not Japan omg a few more years here and soon I'll probably be all 'YAY ONSEN' *splash* instead of 'wth I am so NOT going in there naked you hear me?!!!' before proceeding to make a bathrobe out of tiny square towels.

Then there is the shower cubicle. Thank heavens LA Fitness decided to install shower curtains which was the main reason I chose this gym cuz the rest were curtainless wth. But my joy was soon cut short when I stepped inside, pulled the curtains shut only to discover that it'll still leave a 5 inch gap on either side despite my frantic thugs at it as I wrench it from left to right and vice-versa, desperately trying to fully enclose myself in it.

How the stupid shower cubicle looks:

Yes the curtain edges are totally jagged ok like some wild beast just tore a huge tent apart and LA Fitness picked up the pieces and made them into curtains. And the stupid transparent strip is too damn low for my height ok I swear it covers nothing on top at all. In the earlier days, I hook my towel and bag on both sides of the wall to cover the stupid 5 inch gap but nowadays I don't even bother because the I have a sneaky feeling the gaps gets wider each week as my towel is no longer sufficient to cover it and so I give up. After much reluctance.

I still change in the handicap toilet though. And although I'm getting used to the sight and presence of people just blatantly changing in front of each other, I still wish America wouldn't be so bloody open. I can live without the unsightly sights of sags, fats and wrinkles ok. And also the jealousy from seeing well-toned bodies thus making me feel utterly miserable and have this insane urge to drown myself in the jacuzzi nearby.

But I swear I could give myself a couple more years before I become like one of them due to prolonged exposure wth. Or if someone report me for hogging the handicap toilet (whichever comes first) which might be a crime here I have no idea maybe I should bring retractable crutches next time just in case?

Crap ok, I can so totally feel that America is like clawing her way through my layers of conservativeness and this is just one of the examples and I am quite freaked out because I do not want to become some gullible 'open' minded ahem 5 years down the road ok?!

Plus seeing since CA likes to support gays and lesbians a lot later the changing room got lesbians then HOW?! It would be like changing in front of guys le cuz of her sexual preference and so she would be like in lesbian paradise with naked girls all around her as she silently check them out omg....

That's it.

I am sticking to my handicap toilet forever. Will look out for some retractable crutches next week.

Crippled

I want to sue LA Fitness.

I am totally unable to walk now. It's to the point I need a wheelchair or when at home, crawl on the floor on all fours if no one is around to support me. My legs are now useless stumps that hurt whenever I try to stand. In fact, I cannot even stand and can only manage a bended knee stand that lasts only 3 seconds before my legs give out and I fall to the floor in a heap. I have to skip classes, miss out on events and stuff simply because I cannot walk.

I am so mad, frustrated and maniacally depressed right now I feel like taking a knife to all trainers at that stupid gym. I don't really care if it gets me into jail right now because they took my life away its only fair they get what they deserved.

I am hoping that this is only a case of torn muscles that would heal in a few days because I rather walk again than to sue them for millions but be crippled for life. I am deathly afraid right now that I may no longer be able to walk again I tell you because I've never been this way before and its taking a toll on my sanity.

I now understand what it feels like to be physically disabled.

I need prayers right now for both my sanity and the healing of my legs. I don't think I can get through my life crippled. Please, pray for me.

Update: My friend just called to tell me she is moving to Orange County soon due to certain complications. So not am I only crippled, falling behind in my studies because of missed classes, gymless because we would be canceling our memberships but I'm also losing a great friend. Great, now my life is slowly falling apart all over again.

Sometimes I just want to ask You God, just what do You want with me. Why all these cruel 'dangling a carrot in front of my nose' games? Why answer my prayers then take them away again. Why why why??? I lost my previous life of luxuries already and now I'm losing friends and grades. I'm completely worn out with life and really don't know what am I supposed to do anymore.

Stupid Lines

Of the many different ways of being asked out, today's one really takes the cake so far. So I was sitting there with my dark sunnies and earphones stuffed defiantly in my ears trying to exude this aura of 'leave me alone' while I waited for my car and got this one guy dunno if he is like cannot read the atmosphere or what still attempted to talk to me and there goes the usual barrage of questions like 'hi, how are you', 'where do you live' and the inevitable 'are you single/have a boyfriend atm?' and really I dislike it when people ask me that, my private life ok what for I tell a stranger that.

So I was like cursing my poor foresight of why did I not not choose to sit at the bus-stop instead where the bench is full so no one can simply slide in beside me huh while I answer all his questions mechanically till he went 'oh I live around here too and I'm looking for something convenient you know and I was wondering if you are interested in a relationship blablabla' and while my mind was a hundred miles away before, something he said immediately snapped my attention back into place.

CONVENIENT?!?!?!

EXCUSE ME BUT DID I JUST HEAR HIM SAY THAT??? Convenient? Convenient?! *twitch* Just what the hell is that supposed to mean huh?! Do I look like an effing 7-11 store to you, you (to quote Ammy) moronic slice of evolved sperm, readily available at your whims?

SCREW YOU.

So if I were to move to UCLA one day, you'll ditch me? Cuz last I heard, cloning of humans was still banned so I couldn't multiply myself like those 7-11 chain stores even if I wanted to. And I wasn't even dressed like a slutty ah lian so just what is he implying? Convenience... Yeah, if your last name is Jung and first name Yunho or not you can just buzz off.

Was contemplating where I should stab him with my 3 inch heels, right or left foot? Maybe both? Or even better, his crotch so he cannot populate the earth with more douchiness? when he still have the audacity to press on with 'but you're not looking for a boyfriend now? are you sure? why not?' and other crap after my frosty not interested reply coupled with a murderous glare and I was wondering how retarded a person can get and do I really need to castrate him with my heels for him to get my point but now that I think back about it, I think my stupid sunnies must have killed the glare and so I must remind myself to take them off the next time I have to glare at someone.

Shall buy darker sunnies on my next shopping trip. Preferably something along the lines of black hole black or world is ending black with huge headphones to boot so I can shut all stupid people out. And if all else fails, I can always use my huge headphones to knock them out =D

Anyway, on to lighter things, I hate Japan ok. I found this really gorgeous cellphone and was willing to spend any amount to get it:

♥♥♥Foma N906iμ Pink Diamond♥♥♥

Got free chio gold strap again!!!

Then I read this and discover that all their phones are sim cardless, locked, works only in Japan and requires Japanese citizen identification documents to be able to purchase one. Damnit why so exclusive? =C Are Korean ones the same too? If not then I'll ask someone in Korea to purchase one for me cuz American phones are crap and I want a chio flip phone!!!

And I was kidding about the hating Japan part. I love it still and want to go there ok~♪

&@*!#^!&@!

I'd just discover that the reason I cannot log into o2jam for the past months was cause the server was shut down?! Damnit Malaysia, you're telling me you can't even keep a trivial thing such as a game server alive???

Thanks a lot, you know, o2jam was probably the closest thing you could have gotten into telling the whole world's youth about your existence since 85% of the people here have no idea where Malaysia is or that there is such country and now your chance is gone, gone, GONE. Together with all my hard-earned outfits, level rank and gem points *super irritated*

I hope America comes up with their own international server. Much more reliable at any rate. Srsly, don't volunteer to be an international server (or whatever) if you can't live up to it. Hmph.

Silly Things

People already in LA also dragged into things happening in Msia. Hello am in Los Angeles ok glamorous city of angels and you think I have time to go around hating people miles away wth -_-'

Why do random people like to hate me so much arh when I don't even know them wth wth wth.

For the record, I didn't even know she existed until the end of last year where someone randomly pointed her out and neither did I thought much about that at all. Then recently someone told me she was trash talking about me and my sis on her blog and maybe irl too. Not like we care very much though cuz I dunno, how to treat it when its someone you barely know? And 2nd sis doesn't even read her blog at all and is wondering why her name is dragged into the whole thing. No really, why do you even hate us when we don't even know you (=_=)

I don't even read her blog like she thought I did and I dunno who that 'lovely friend' of mine in her post is cuz I've just talked to the bff and she said she doesn't even know of that blog.

She said its partly cause we've scolded her friend before though. I am guessing but I think I know who she is referring to. That person cheated me out of my money ok with faulty cds wth I am still quite peeved when I think back about it so tell me why I do not have the right to scold people like that? Plus to hate us because of a friend who done us wrong is weird not meh? If my friend were to insult someone and get insulted back, I would just say 'huo kai' hor who ask them go and insult people first -_-

But since we're on this topic, to anyone out there who think we hate you.... Don't flatter yourself. We have better things to do then to 'hate people' srsly when was 'hating' even an activity? *puffs cheeks* We may dislike you for certain incidents but once you're out of our sight, consider yourself out of our minds too. Frivolous people are never known to have long attention spans =PPP

Anyway, school starts tomorrow ok sigh I feel so scared all over again =S Afraid later I end up in the wrong class or do something equally as stupid to embarrass myself =C Scared that I'll get a B. That I won't be able to keep up and what not.

Just realized that I stupidly arranged my classes in such a way that every Tues/Thurs I have two 3-hour long classes and when did I even sign up for History of Japan, China and Korea???? I thought I took Humanity? Nooooooo, I took history wth what was I thinking at the moment of registration am asking for death wth *cries*

I don't want to go to school lar....*wails pathetically* I know I'm 18 already wth but I still find college intimidating at times ok why does everyone look like they belong while I still look so stupid stupid out of place one? Why??? *sadface*

Wants nothing but to wallow in a dark corner atm.

Driving On The Left Is.....

super effing hard ok!!! *grimaces*

I keep going into the wrong land, crashing into bushes (Daddy: you see yourself la! you've just broken a few branches!!) and the right side of my car seems to be attracted to the curb like how magnets attracts metal T3T

Daddy: *exasperated* Can you NOT drive so to the right or not? You're going to hit the curb ok see the way yo-- STOP LIAO OK YOU'RE GOING STRAIGHT INTO IT!

Me: But I cannot see the side!!!! *wails* If I concentrate on not hitting the curb, I will drive into the left land ok. I cannot see!!! *gets honked from oncoming cars* omg I don't wanna drive anymore, I want to go hoooooome T___T

It's like learning how to drive from square one ALL OVER AGAIN *cries*

I have a hard time looking into all 3 mirrors at once, remembering that the turn signals are now on my left instead of swiping the right handle down and turning on the windshield wipers instead wth, trying to keep my car on my land and not drive like a slithery snake, scanning ahead every 10 seconds because goodness knows how many bloody road signs America has and your driving all relies on those signs, maintaining my speed and not drive like a broken record, all the while trying to remember that I must STAY ON THE RIGHT or be blasted by the honks of others into oblivion because the drivers here are like on constant PMS.

Haha and xiaxue says she plans to drive in the U.S. this coming Dec.? Good luck to her I'll say cause I've been driving for a friggin year in M'sia and am still having a super hard time atm.

Omg and its impossible to remember all the road names ok thanks to the 'block by block system' they have here. I made Daddy promise to buy me a GPS receiver when I pass my driving test and get my license (ha-ha, the possibility looks bleak *weak smile*) cuz there is no way I'm driving alone without one.

Mummy jokes that I'll probably end up in Mexico while driving to a grocery store one day.....

And the sad thing is that the possibility of that happening is actually plausible T___T